Paradise or Oblivion?

by Ian Taylor

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credits

released June 17, 2014

All songs written by Ian Taylor except Vera (Pink Floyd), Suicide is Painless (Johnny Mandel), and Love (John Lennon).

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Track Name: Paradise or Oblivion?
I have my fathers eyes, his cheap disguise, his dirty lies roll in.
I lay on my weakest side and cry tonight to the moon.
The strangers in the middle, the lights grow dimmer in this empty room.

Your biggest mistake was to think that you could relate.
(the stars will weep for me now.)
Your sweet absence fills my desire to hate.
(And I can't find you at all.)

It's not guilt you feel it's wilting steel of your own pathetic pain.
Emptiness resonates my holy kingdom
Is this Paradise or Oblivion?

Don't you cry it's only a lullaby.
(Everyone will die.)
I'll be alright come the remedy sun.
(Everyone is no one.)
It hurts so much to see yourself in my face.
(Memories won't erase.)

Don't you cry it's only a lullaby
(Wake me up)
Don't you cry it's only a lullaby
(Wake me up)
Track Name: 31
Mr. Taylor, your life may be broken but everything else is not.
It's just an illusion you're giving into and Sunshine is raining on your parade, so enjoy.

Let me sleep peacefully cause it's a beautiful day
Though it only reminds me of the beauty I'll never be
And the things you forced upon my mind will haunt you in time
Though in my head it's not what you deserve
But everyone's laughing on planet earth.
So go to sleep and make the change
Give yourself another speech
Convince your mind it's not the same.

I'm dream drunk and seeing stars, as I stand up I see your face
With memories that are scarred and partially erased.
She's been creating roses but I haven't seen her in my Heaven
Even my dreams can no longer hold you.
My childhood made my feel like I didn't exist
Sweet sense of worthlessness
Sweet sense of worthlessness.

We all live for the end of it all.
We all live for the end of it all.
We all live for the end of it all.
We all live for the end of it all.
We all live for the end of it all.
We all live for the end of it all.
Track Name: Ferris Wheel Sun
I'll remember you, if you promise to remember me.
The dawning of mid-June, the bird with broken wings.
The road I walked every day, with stares burning through heat.
I recall the dream of the man sitting next to me

Speaking fondly of your face
With eyes looking half past fate
All the times we ran late
Backward signs leading you to me.

Your ghost passes by gentle as the breeze.
With that look in your eyes, from your heart to my trapeze.
It's hard to say, looking back on it now.
You grabbed my face, as I looked to the ground

Thinking what was next to come
Beneath the Ferris Wheel Sun
Blowing off your dust
And the dream turns to rust.

I know my place.
I know my place.
I know my place.
I know my place.
I know my place.
I know my place.
Track Name: I'm Almost Alive
Everybody’s looking lovely, looking lovely, looking lovely.
Way to go home, way to go home.
Everybody’s looking lovely, call me morning, Mr. Lovely.
Everybody’s longing feeling, longing to be lonely, everyone is gone.
Everyone is longing to be lonely lonely, everyone is gone.
My coke can smells like cigarettes, everybody’s looking through regrets of
everyone’s dreary picturesque.
This dreary, dreary, dreary, picture roll, roll, roll, rest.
Poetry and pawn shops, my coke can smells cigarettes, have a ball, terrific bore, I’m leaving.
She wears her polka dots in the morning and everybody’s longing for a desolate frame of mind,
her eyes are bustling, sweeping from side to side. Her heart is a derelict, it tramples when blown away.
Call me Mr. Mr. Mr. Morning.
I don’t care if the sun don’t shine
I don’t care if nothing is mine
I don’t care if I’m nervous with you
I’ll do my loving in the winter.
Blah Blah Blah.
And the sea isn’t green
And I love the Queen
What exactly is a dream?
What exactly is a joke?
Track Name: Acetic Waterfalls
Let me drown in my downfall of acetic waterfalls.
I remember when I was something beautiful.
How do you think my insides feel?
When you pull them out, string them and play them like a harp.

I can feel my insides tearing loose
Feel my insides tearing loose
Feel my insides tearing loose.

She said "You're going nowhere fast."
Well maybe that's where I'd like to be.
I remember when I was something wonderful.
I use to be lonely until I gained control
Now I'm everyone in the safety of a pitch black hole.
Now I'm everyone in the safety of a pitch black hole.

I can feel my insides tearing loose
Feel my insides tearing loose
Feel my insides tearing loose.

I remember when I was something beautiful.
Track Name: Aborted With Fear
I guess I should be quiet now, I'm making a fool of myself.
Saying things you don't want to hear.
I guess I should get going now, this feeling in my chest
is hauntingly clear.
When you're brought up to feel like a failure
That's when it seems failure is the best option.
I thought you of all people would understand.
I watch the streetlights die, and wonder where you are.
Are you thinking of me up there with the stars?
Cause angels were meant to fly, and I'm only a product of a storm.
A whisper faded gray.
Who was I to think I was loved?
My dreams were bland and unreal I suppose.
In dreams I know who you are, but now I wonder who I've lost.
I'm only a child.
In dreams I know who you are, but now I wonder who I've lost.
What will you say when you see my face?
What will you say when you see my face?
Track Name: Heart Below the Noose
You don't know alone like this
This is not the way it's supposed to be
And I am feeling way too deep for saving.
You don't want to know what's on my mind
You don't want to feel what I feel inside
You don't want to know.
You don't want to know.
My needle jumping limits, my horrible existence, in the arms of the strangest angel, again.

I know you love to see me bruised
And the demons always come too soon
On every Sunday afternoon, I'm tired.
Welcome to the heart below the noose
A blend of ruined trust this will not do
With every fucking hit I get more confused
This will not do.
This will not do.
Accompanied in white, this elegant suicide, Mon Amour, goodbye.
Track Name: All Is Forgiven
The sun is falling, the heat is rising and all is forgiven.
I won't count the things you did
and I won't dwell on you.
I don't feel that this will heal
but it's only a matter of time.
In the dark I feel so scarred
I still see your pale blue eyes.

I won't say a word, I'll keep to myself.
Cause everyone is a blur, and they're all someone else.
I won't say a word, I'll stay to myself.
Cause everyone is a blur, and they're all someone else.

The sun is falling, the heat is rising and all is forgiven.
All is forgiven.
Track Name: Confusion
I'm seeing plaid
I'm hearing colors
The wind blows bland
Feel the room smother.

Watch this disease fill itself out
Feel it fall away.
Watch this disease fill itself out
Feel it fall away.

Eclipsed with smiles of fear
Rest my head on confusion
My mind is Elysian Fields
I didn't want you to know it's abusive.

Back and forth waging
The fire in my mind the ghost of your fame
Your eyes are cages just like the air that suffocates.
Back and forth waging
The fire in my mind the freedom of your fame
Your eyes are cages just like the air that suffocates.
Track Name: This Represents My Sadness
Is there anybody who cares?

Show this man the way out.

This is my carnival, is there a show of hands?
I hear your mind's gone dull, I hear your eyes are bland.
We can fix it right, we can stay up all night.
You can write down what you'd like.
Dear lady could you please show this man the way out?

Who said you would notice? I mean that you would really see me.

This is my carnival, is there a show of hands?
I hear your mind's gone dull, I hear your eyes are bland.
Track Name: See You in Heaven
I'm sorry I'm shaking, I just get so nervous
and I don't expect you to understand.
My heart is breaking, but it's only a grain in the sand
from the pain you've afflicted on me.

I'm only sorry I'm not good enough
I'm only sorry you're a diamond in the rough
Cause in the end, a diamond is just a rock.

All this time, I've been looking through stain glass eyes
of your sugar and lies.
And I'm sorry I'm shaking, I just get so nervous
and I don't expect you to understand.

I only wish I could be good enough
I only wish you weren't a diamond in the rough
Cause in the end a diamond is just a rock.
I only wish I was good enough
I only wish you weren't a diamond in the rough
Cause in the end a diamond is just a rock.
I only wish I was good enough
I'm only sorry you're a diamond in the rough
Cause in the end I'll see you in Heaven.
In the end, I'll see you in Heaven.
Track Name: Dreams of Simon
She's losing sleep, it's driving her wild.
He's in her dreams, such a beautiful child.
In an open field, time doesn't exist.
It's all surreal, a true love like this.

She dreams of Simon again.
These dreams of Simon in her head.
She dreams of Simon on her own.
These dreams of Simon all alone.

She's running late, but her time's well spent.
Big smile on his face, of childhood innocence.
Such a special bond, which no man can break.
Between a mother and son, without feelings of hate.

She dreams of Simon again.
These dreams of Simon in her head.
She dreams of Simon all alone.
These dreams of Simon take control.
She dreams of Simon again.
These dreams of Simon in her head.
She dreams of Simon all alone.
These dreams of Simon take control.