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Honesty (Parts I & II)

from Johanna, Johanna by Ian Taylor

/

lyrics

Part I
I, I felt your pain inside.
It's bound to get lonely somewhere.
It's bound to get hateful here.
I was quiet on my side.
With no idea what to say
Nowhere to escape.

Everybody knows I've got a mouth like suicide.
Everyday it shows, I've got no one by my side.

You feast your eyes on those words.
The flowers grow through your ribs.
I see it all too clear.
And you don't feel bad when I hurt.
From all the times you've burned
Everything I've earned.

I'm so fucking sick of being ignored.
You're a disappearing act, I've seen it before.

Part II
I listened to your stories, yes everything you had
but it all got kind of silly, childish and sad
so I hung up the phone and I walked to the store
and I spoke to the man who was sitting on the corner

He said "The day you love is the day you turn dumb son.
Yea don't trust a soul and take what you can from everyone."

So I never spoke again and I stitched up my mouth
and I lived with my pain, I've been trying to forget about.
But winter it came, suddenly and loud
and reminded me again all those years I tried to drown

Every single night in a bathtub.
Holding my breath until I finally just gave up.

So I sat and I cried until I felt empty inside
and I banged out these chords and the anger I try to hide
for the people who've abandoned me and the people who've lied
they said they'd be there when shit got scary
yea they'd be my side.

But I look now and I see no one
Just a blank gray wall and my book full of poems.

And I'm gonna find an artist, yea a girl who can paint
she's gonna make me pretty with every color in my face
she's gonna make a portrait of all I wanted to be
so when I leave her lonely it's all that she'll see.

And it's all she'll remember me by
instead of this sadness that I fight
cause like the ghost that I am, I vanish in the night.

credits

from Johanna, Johanna, released November 17, 2014

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Ian Taylor New York

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