Wish I Was Here

by Ian Taylor



this record is an ode to depersonalization disorder


released September 24, 2015

all songs written by ian taylor
original photo by krista jeannette williamson



all rights reserved
Track Name: intro
i've got imaginary friends
who tell me how it all will end
they say i surely don't exist
til i feel like smoke and mist
so anxious
so i swallow sleep
so trite and cheap
here's to your smiles
Track Name: I Thought I Was an Alien
i don't remember waking up
i found myself this way
up in the bathroom huffing markers
i don't like how things change
all my creations are trite and cheap
as i'm stuck inside this dream

i told you about
my younger shedding hands
and how i thought
i was an alien

get your boyfriend on a leash
he's starting to act out.
Track Name: W 2nd St.
it's six o clock
try to stop
sydney says i need help
i just go to bed
just so depressed
and i get acid from this girl i met

i was someone else
in the grass
kissing the lips of the expressionless
but time was on my side
i quickly died
from the poison seeping from her eyes

ball of silver smoke
try to cope
dreams and memories
what a joke
Track Name: Haley Says
haley says as it starts to rain
she'd like to slit my throat
and cause me pain
but that's alright
yea that's ok
i feel fine
i feel nothing

a wolf befriending a sheep

sydney asks as she starts to grin
am i happier now
as they finally kick in
i'm still in this college town
she lifts me up
to break me down

a fiend befriending my dreams
Track Name: Untitled #3
back at the party
broken lampshade
they say i’m cool but
i start school next week
i float like a trash bag
pale as a ghost, man
they say i’m great but
i don’t feel anything

back at the party
kids in the swimming pool
the drowning army
of LSD fish bowls
i took part in it
and i started flying
i fell in love with the
feeling of dying

life can be strange
but she can be stranger
she started laughing
i was all over her
then all of a sudden
she began dancing
in a crowd of blurs
and familiar faces
Track Name: Back to Life
bones show now
thinning out
jesus and nurses collide
learn to shout
rotten fruits of doubt
nightmares and lullabies

as the soul inside you has lonely died
i will bring u back to life

wrapped beneath
cold white sheets
you're sweating breaths of stone
the doctors are sweet
and understanding
but nothing can fill this hole

and the bloody gown you once hopelessly wore
is laying in a bag by the door

when you got home
you felt so hollow
so you carved into your spine
now you feel old
despite that you're young
but i wish you were mine

as the soul inside you has lonely died
i will bring you back to life
Track Name: Skeleton
undisturbed like she wanted
she moved quickly out the auditorium
from where she was seated
she is a stranger
intense like a shadow
silent like warfare
i follow her gaze til she's out the door
where she disappears

i wish i was a moth
feeding off your cloth
i wish i was a dream
beauty while you sleep

take my ribs
and make a home for yourself
i'll always be this skeleton
and you are a lover
existence is weird
it's all a punctured veil
of all that was and all that were
and i wish i was here

i wish i was a moth
feeding off your cloth
i wish i was a dream
beauty while you sleep
Track Name: College Somewhere
where do you go when no one's watching?
what do you say when he's not listening?
i see you smile when he's not around
i see you cry when he puts you down

i got a headache and nothing's helping
it makes me sick babe cause you're a wonderful woman
and he's an asshole to say the least
i am tired of the way he treats you

so please don't hang around
this awful town
just go to college somewhere
and leave him here